Few Jokes
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
************ ***
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
************ ***
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give you a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You will see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
************ ***
Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
************ ***
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
************ ***
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
************ ***
Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did , I still got mine with me!
************ ***
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
************ ***
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
************ ***
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
************ ***
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give you a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You will see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
************ ***
Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
************ ***
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
************ ***
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
************ ***
Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did , I still got mine with me!
************ ***
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
************ ***
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Guy's Rules
Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
**********
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
************
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
************
1. Crying is blackmail.
************
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
************
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
************
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
************
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
************
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
************
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
************
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
************
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
************
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
************
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
************
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
************
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
************
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
************
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
************
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .
************
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
************
1. You have enough clothes.
************
1. You have too many shoes.
************
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
**********
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
************
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
************
1. Crying is blackmail.
************
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
************
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
************
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
************
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
************
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
************
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
************
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
************
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
************
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
************
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
************
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
************
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
************
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
************
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
************
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .
************
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
************
1. You have enough clothes.
************
1. You have too many shoes.
************
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
--
Md Masum
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